Latest Political Jokes Articles

perigi air milo

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 02:45:09 +0800

Buyong dan ucop adalah antara pesakit mental tahap gaban di Hospital berus kaki,simpang renggam di kanada(sebuah institut yg disahkan oleh pegawai PTPTN)....

Suatu hari buyong sangat boring lalu beliau mengmbil handpone 3Gnya dan mmbuat video kol kpada si ucop..

buyong : hai awak..knapa hidung awak kaler jingga mix biru laut nih...

Ucop : hai awak jugak..owh..saia lupa beli ikan ari nih..biasa la..

buyong : kna mengena ape ngn beli ikan ngn hidong awak tu..

Ucop : memang pun..hari mcam nk hujan la....

buyong : saia tnya laen awak jawab laen..benci r...(sambil jilat bulu kakinya)

Ucop : tak tahu lg?? saia masuk sini sebab saia rasa brsalah kt mak bapak saia...dulu masa mak bapak saia kawen,saia tak pegi tengok pon...nnti saia kawen ngn rokiah palembang dan dapat anak..mesti anak kami tak g tengok kami kawen..so saia sedih ini,..(sambil mencium ketiak)

buyong : memang sah awak ni gila + sawan pokok ceri...

Ucop : awak pon gila..KoL 3G tp cakap letak kt telinga..BANGANG!!

buyong :

Japan's Prime Minister

Fri, 16 Jul 2010 14:57:08 +0800

A few years ago, Japan’s Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English Conversation training before he visited Washington and met president Bill Clinton.

The instructor told Mori “Prime Minister, when you shake hands with President Clinton, please say ‘how are you’. Then Mr. Clinton will say,” I’m fine, and you?” Now you should say ‘me too’.

Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you.”

It looked quite simple, but the truth was…

When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said “Who Are You?”.

Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:

“Well, I am Hilary’s husband, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.”

Then Mori replied confidently “Me too, hahaha…hahaha…”

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

Honest Answers of Interview Questions

Mon, 05 Apr 2010 10:41:38 +0800

1. Why did you apply for this job?
I have applied for many jobs along with this one and it's just that you called me first.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?
I have to work for some company, whoever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind.

3. Why should I hire you?
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

4. What would you do if this happened?
Well, it depends on my mindset and mood in that situation...

5. What is your biggest strength?
I dare to join any company who pays me well, without thinking about the fate of company.

6. What is your biggest weakness?
Girls

7. What was your worst mistake and how did you learn from it?
Joining my earlier company and I learnt that I need to switch my job to get more money, so I am here today.

8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.

9. Describe a challenge that you faced and how did you overcome it?
Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
For the same reason why you left your previous job.

11. What do you want from this job?
No work and good hikes.

12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
Making more money and for that I keep switching jobs every two years.

13. What do you know about our company?
I knew you will ask me this question. So, I've gone through your website.

14. What salary are you expecting?
Well, no one will change his job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting right now. I know you will bargain on whatever I ask. So I have already hiked my current salary by 30%.

Ativan online

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 06:47:48 +0800

How are you! I was wondering if anyone could help me by giving me some arabic preyers so I can copy them out as I am making a torah for school! Please email me or reply on this Guestbook! Thank you! I love the website by the way!. I am from Libya and also now teach English, give true I wrote the following sentence: "What?s good about poker is that anyone can play it and anyone can either lose or gain money." Thank :) Dru.

Politics Explained

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:45:23 +0800

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”

Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism.

Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people.

The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.”

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh*t.”

Hillary Clinton vs God

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 00:35:40 +0800

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They’re up in heaven, and God’s sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first.

“Al, what do you believe in?”

Al replies, “Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we’ll all die.”

God thinks for a second and says “Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left.”

God then addresses Bill. “Bill, what do you believe in?”

Bill replies, “Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people’s pain.”

God thinks for a second and says “Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right.”

God then address Hillary. “Hillary, what do you believe in?”

“I believe you’re in my chair.”

Stupid quotes by George W. Bush

Mon, 12 Mar 2007 14:36:58 +0800

“And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I’m sorry it’s the case, and I’ll work hard to try to elevate it.” –George W. Bush, interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

“I think that the vice president is a person reflecting a half-glass-full mentality.” –George W. Bush, interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007

“And one thing we want during this war on terror is for people to feel like their life’s moving on, that they’re able to make a living and send their kids to college and put more money on the table.” –George W. Bush, interview on the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, Jan. 16, 2007

“The best way to defeat the totalitarian of hate is with an ideology of hope — an ideology of hate — excuse me –with an ideology of hope.” –George W. Bush, Fort Benning, Ga., Jan. 11, 2007

“Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 7, 2006

“The only way we can win is to leave before the job is done.” –George W. Bush, Greeley, Colo., Nov. 4, 2006

“Anybody who is in a position to serve this country ought to understand the consequences of words.” –George W. Bush, interview with Rush Limbaugh, Nov. 1, 2006

“You know, when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war President. No President wants to be a war President, but I am one.” –George W. Bush, Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 26, 2006 Maria Bartiromo:

“I’m curious, have you ever googled anybody? Do you use Google?” President Bush: “Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see — I’ve forgot the name of the program — but you get the satellite, and you can — like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It remind me of where I wanna be sometimes.” –interview with CNBC’s Maria Bartiromo, Oct. 24, 2006

“You’re one of the outstanding leaders in a very important part of the world. I want to thank you for strategizing our discussions.” –George W. Bush, meeting with the prime minister of Malaysia, New York, N.Y., Sept. 18, 2006

“The Patriot Act has increased the flow of information within our government and it has helped break up terrorist cells in the United States of America. And the United States Congress was right to renew the terrorist act — the Patriot Act.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C. , Sept. 7, 2006

“You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” –George W. Bush, interview with CBS News’ Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

“I said I was looking for a book to read, Laura said you ought to try Camus. I also read three Shakespeares. … I’ve got a eck-a-lec-tic reading list.” –George W. Bush, interview with NBC’s Brian Williams, New Orleans, La., Aug. 29, 2006

God USA

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 00:00:00 +0800

A little boy wanted USD100 badly and prayed for two weeks
but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter
requesting the USD100. When the postal authorities received the
letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to
President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched,
and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little
boy a USD5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear
to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the USD5.00 and sat down to write
a thank you note to GOD, which read:

Dear GOD,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that
for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as
usual, those bastards deducted USD95.00.

A cannibal in a restaurant

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 00:00:00 +0800

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...

Broiled Missionary: $ 10.00
Fried Explorer: $ 15.00
Baked Politician: $ 100.00

The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a price difference for the politician?"
The waiter replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one?"

Zambian Roulette

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 00:00:00 +0800

As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations. Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happend that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite. To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to the Russian game of roulette. He produced an antique Soviet revolver, and a single bullet. It took a while, but he was finally able to explain the gist of the game to Umballa. Intrigued and excited, Umballa loved the game. By the time the U.N. meeting was over, the two had become fast friends. As they parted company at the airport, Umballa told Vladimir, ''One day, you must visit my country, and try our version of your roulette.''
A year later, Vladimir was in Zambia, and looked up his old friend. Umballa remembered him, and welcomed him with open arms.
''I have come, my comrade, to try your game.''
''Very well. Come with me.'' Umballa took his friend before six, buck-naked bush women. ''Pick one. Any one. And she will give you a blowjob.''
''But my friend, where is the danger in this?''
Umballa replied with a toothy smile, ''One of them is a cannibal.''